Here I am. I’m doing it; I’m actually on the journey! No furniture or job or address. I’m shit scared and so excited. It’s been three weeks but it feels like no time an entire lifetime simultaneously. To sum it all up: I left and vacationed in Edisto Beach, SC for a week with the wonderful women that are my family. It was perfect. I had an amazing experience swimming with wild dolphins and witnessed a lightening storm comparable to being directly inside the neural pathway of God’s mind. There was no expense spared in the all-natural special effects department in this episode of The Shellie Show. The beauty was so vivid and alive within me. The tone is set. I’m ready to roll.
I spent some time in Georgia with Mom and Dad. I ended up having life changing conversations with these people who I know now as humans, as well as parents. I let go of a lot of assumptions and false beliefs on who they were. This led me to so much more of myself, and I acknowledge that I have shifted now from being a child into being a woman. I am so grateful that my journey has led me to this beautiful understanding.
Onward, to Carrboro, NC. This lovely little spot is the hoop dance Mecca of the East Coast. The Hoop Path Retreat was the most profound experience I have had on my journey thus far. I am fully aware, after attending this creatively combustive event, that my purpose is to be the dancer. I will always honor this about myself. This is a gift I am so humbled and grateful to receive. Praise to Bax, Ann and the Locals for being the finest examples of goodness and grace that the hoop community knows.
The scene switches now to the majestic mountains and valleys of Lewisburg, WV.
It was wonderful to be able to appreciate this landscape on such a contrasting level. After living in flat Florida I am childlike in my curiosity to explore the trails, caves, rivers, and rocks within these mountains. My soul Sister Serah and her beautiful family have welcomed me with full hearts and open arms. I have had so many memorable experiences in such a short time. Stay tuned for some righteous pictures. I am currently in Sarasota for a few days for a visit. It feels great to be lazy in the balmy heat and to just BE. Noah’s company is also nice ☺ I really missed him for the three weeks I was bouncing around. I’ll be headed back to Lewisburg in a few days. I’ll look for massage clients, future hoopers, and uncharted terrain. I already had a river bend full of kids and adults hooping their hiney’s off up there. I hope Lewisburg is ready for the hoop, because it’s coming their way! So, I’m off into the unknown again. I have so much trust and patience in my heart right now. Thank you for supporting me on this Pilgrimage and all that it means to me. Blessings <3
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Lunar Love <3
The Moon is mine. I certainly know how to share, but she is mine. I dance for her when she is full, ripe, and juicy. Last night, I tasted the Freedom she brings with senses heightened. I have danced the shore under her pale, lunar love many times. Last night was different. Here, on the island of Edisto, something shifts inside of me. I morph into a woman who understands that there is no time, only this one moment. I feel as though the island understands my needs right now, and is aiding me in every way possible to grow, blossom, and be while I am in her arms. She gifted me the most perfect spot on the island to have a midnight moon dance, followed by a seriously liberating skinny dip with the sea. I had to deliberate for a while before I actually allowed myself to be naked, in the ocean, at 12:15am. I finally just threw off my clothes and ran laughing, heart racing, soul exhilarated, splashing my way into the salty saving grace. It was an amazing experience to be naked in the most natural saline solution Mother Nature offers. I floated and dove and waded around. I cried a little, only out of pure awe and respect for the amount of beauty that was around and within me. There was no one else. Just me, my ocean, and my moon. Anyone could have chosen this exact experience, but no one else did in that moment. That moment, with that moon, in that part of the Atlantic, in front of those particular sand dunes, with no else around I chose that moment. My moon, my moment. It is beautiful the way it was orchestrated so that everyone else in the world was doing whatever it is that serves them I and was able to have this experience. I am so grateful for my life. It really is limitless. I am glad that I am capable of creating a life that is so full of one liberating experience after another. It’s ok if no one else is beside me, for I am aware of what is above me, below me, and within me. No one else really even needs to know about it but me. But, like I said before, I want to share. What self-realized person doesn’t want to read a story about a girl who is finding her womanhood one moonlit-midnight-skinny dip at a time? Here’s to you, and all of the times you have been, and will be, bare skinned with your sun-starved-butt gleaming in the basking radiance of Lunar Love.
The Beginning
The adventure has begun. I am myself today. This is beautiful, for this is the nature of the adventure. It seemed so awkward at first, almost like learning how to walk for the first time. The packing was difficult, but as I gave some things away to people I loved and trusted, it was easy to just let it all go. I sold some things, trashed some things, and gave most of it to Goodwill. Liberation.
I left on June 4, 2009 with all of my worldly possessions in (and on top of) my Mitsubishi Galant. (Kudos to Noah’s super-righteous packing skills!) I left Florida after a perfect lunch at Peach’s with three of the people I love most in the entire world. I took my time leaving the state I am proud to call my home. It is not my birthplace, but it is my home. My first stop on the adventure, however, happens to be the city in which I was born. Orangeburg, SC. My grandmother, who I lovingly call Nonnie, resides here, and this has been a comforting constant throughout my life. It was nice to pull into a driveway I know, be greeted by the face that has been familiar to me since the day of my birth, and sleep in a bed that smells like my grandfather. I am grateful for this symbolic and poignant beginning.
I am so blessed. Even if I turned around and came home tomorrow, it would not be in vain. Before I left I had the rare and immensely satisfying experience of seeing every single one of my friends. I enjoyed home-cooked dinners, late night/full moon beach talks, sunshine and hoops, body painting, woods-walking, hoop making and wine drinking, So You Think You Can Dance!, massaging my loved ones, giving to and receiving from my dearest friends, cookouts, cherries and chocolate, and plain ole’ time well spent with the people who mean so amazingly much to me it makes my heart smile. Thank you all for being in my life. I love, love, love you.
It was easier than I thought to let go of the physical things. That felt great, actually. I have this calm, empty feeling inside. A little fear bounces around in there from time to time, the emptiness amplifying the acoustics of that nagging, persistent voice. But then I take over, and remind myself why I am here, consciously choosing this current situation of having no home, no job, no certainty. It is the ultimate exercise in trust. I must remind myself, especially after decisions such as this, that I am fully capable of taking care of myself, trusting myself to know what to do, trusting the force that guides me, trusting that money will come, trusting that I will find a bed, a shower, and nourishment. I trust it. Whatever it is, I trust it.
So here I sit. I am sitting on the porch of the beach-front house my Momma rented for the week, gazing in awe at the first full moon of the journey, realizing how special I am, this is, we are, and always will be. I almost forgot about the full moon. But then I remembered to take a breath, and go outside. There she was, in all of her beauty, glory, and innocence. The full, white sphere is sitting over the ocean, reflecting herself without reserve. She is a beacon. The goddesses of the moon are calling me towards what I know is already there. Freedom, love, laughter, and life. At one point tonight, the clouds took an interesting formation. This one cloud appeared as an arm with a hand reaching out, and as it gravitated closer and closer to the perfect orb it looked like it took the moon right into its wispy hand. In that moment I almost felt the universe itself was handing me its most precious gem. The moon. I feel as though it is certainly a guiding force. It reminds me that the night is, indeed, kind. Even when I am alone, I am a part of the whole. This is very comforting. So now, to show my appreciation, I will depart from my words to go take part in my own sacred ritual that I practice every month- a dance under the light of the full moon. I am grateful that I have the beautiful Atlantic Ocean as my audience. The Gulf may just get a little envious, but he knows I will return in due time. As I go now, to dance and be divine, I encourage you to give yourself a serious hug. Let it last awhile, and remember that every moment is a spectacular experience. One Love <3
I left on June 4, 2009 with all of my worldly possessions in (and on top of) my Mitsubishi Galant. (Kudos to Noah’s super-righteous packing skills!) I left Florida after a perfect lunch at Peach’s with three of the people I love most in the entire world. I took my time leaving the state I am proud to call my home. It is not my birthplace, but it is my home. My first stop on the adventure, however, happens to be the city in which I was born. Orangeburg, SC. My grandmother, who I lovingly call Nonnie, resides here, and this has been a comforting constant throughout my life. It was nice to pull into a driveway I know, be greeted by the face that has been familiar to me since the day of my birth, and sleep in a bed that smells like my grandfather. I am grateful for this symbolic and poignant beginning.
I am so blessed. Even if I turned around and came home tomorrow, it would not be in vain. Before I left I had the rare and immensely satisfying experience of seeing every single one of my friends. I enjoyed home-cooked dinners, late night/full moon beach talks, sunshine and hoops, body painting, woods-walking, hoop making and wine drinking, So You Think You Can Dance!, massaging my loved ones, giving to and receiving from my dearest friends, cookouts, cherries and chocolate, and plain ole’ time well spent with the people who mean so amazingly much to me it makes my heart smile. Thank you all for being in my life. I love, love, love you.
It was easier than I thought to let go of the physical things. That felt great, actually. I have this calm, empty feeling inside. A little fear bounces around in there from time to time, the emptiness amplifying the acoustics of that nagging, persistent voice. But then I take over, and remind myself why I am here, consciously choosing this current situation of having no home, no job, no certainty. It is the ultimate exercise in trust. I must remind myself, especially after decisions such as this, that I am fully capable of taking care of myself, trusting myself to know what to do, trusting the force that guides me, trusting that money will come, trusting that I will find a bed, a shower, and nourishment. I trust it. Whatever it is, I trust it.
So here I sit. I am sitting on the porch of the beach-front house my Momma rented for the week, gazing in awe at the first full moon of the journey, realizing how special I am, this is, we are, and always will be. I almost forgot about the full moon. But then I remembered to take a breath, and go outside. There she was, in all of her beauty, glory, and innocence. The full, white sphere is sitting over the ocean, reflecting herself without reserve. She is a beacon. The goddesses of the moon are calling me towards what I know is already there. Freedom, love, laughter, and life. At one point tonight, the clouds took an interesting formation. This one cloud appeared as an arm with a hand reaching out, and as it gravitated closer and closer to the perfect orb it looked like it took the moon right into its wispy hand. In that moment I almost felt the universe itself was handing me its most precious gem. The moon. I feel as though it is certainly a guiding force. It reminds me that the night is, indeed, kind. Even when I am alone, I am a part of the whole. This is very comforting. So now, to show my appreciation, I will depart from my words to go take part in my own sacred ritual that I practice every month- a dance under the light of the full moon. I am grateful that I have the beautiful Atlantic Ocean as my audience. The Gulf may just get a little envious, but he knows I will return in due time. As I go now, to dance and be divine, I encourage you to give yourself a serious hug. Let it last awhile, and remember that every moment is a spectacular experience. One Love <3
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